I’m the kind of person who can claim having kept a room entirely to myself my whole life. I like my space. I’ve been very blessed to have the opportunity to have my own space. But I had always pondered just how vastly different college living would be; two people, lots of stuff, and a tight space. It’s extremely intimidating! My best friend and I knew that we would never be roommates. Even before our senior year of high school we agreed that if we were to go to the same college, there’s no way we could do it. Ironically, the last night in MHK for the both of us we spent as roommates. We giggled and laughed about just how obnoxious the two of us were together. She would have never stopped singing or making weird noises and I would probably have had an assortment of things always scattered about covered in charcoal or paint. Trivial things, but believe you me when you spend 9 months with a person in close quarters those little things become the big things! I love her so much, but wow am I so thrilled, for a variety of reasons, that we figured that out just how terrible we would be together before we embarked on this new journey.
Reflecting back on the year, its so assuring to know that I wouldn’t have done a single thing differently. Previous to college I had heard tales upon tales of potluck-roommate horror stories. Some from my mom recounting the good ole 80’s when hairspray and cigarette smoke accumulated to an impenetrable and hovering cloud inside the dorms rooms… Oh how blessed I am.
I was paired with someone who was from my same hometown. We had interacted with so many of the same people growing up, she worked with one of my best friends, and she had even been at my graduation party earlier that year. Life is pretty funny sometimes.
Meeting each other for the first time was the ultimate test, starting with a 30 minute phone call and then eventually a shopping excursion. We were trying to feel each other out. “is this person… normal?” we questioned. Both of us were trying to figure it out as quickly as possible. It’s funny looking back at that really. Extremely nostalgic. Now she’s someone I really couldn’t imagine not being in my life!
The lesson to be heard here is, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in tight spaces. She and I both had our share of emotional outbursts. Crying yes, mostly. There were some times when I remember getting good and angry and she was there to calm me down. There were times when I got unbelievably overwhelmed and would crawl inside my head and she would be there with words of encouragement. Most often, there were times when complete exhaustion just consumed me from late nights in studio and she was there to just there to turn off the lights. If anyone ever asks, Em has a heart of gold. She truly kept me sane during one of the hugest transitions of my young adult life. To anyone anticipating this new and exciting opportunity for friendship I would only say a few things. You create the life you desire to live; that applies to whom you live it with too. Instant friendships are not only unnatural; they are not realistic. You’re only human, so remember that they will be too. Patience and effort are so important. You will have to try, you will have to be pleasant, and you will have to be selfless. Write a list, write it now, of what you desire in a good roommate; Nothing specific, just general nonnegotiable traits that portray character. Now, you yourself go be those exact things! They will return to you 10-fold I promise.
Guarantees are never tangible. Expectations are dangerous. If you are anything, be loving and gracious. Sometimes favor smiles upon you, and sometimes it doesn’t.. but that’s life. As Doctor Seuss once said “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you”, so be the best you can be! If you believe and do all these things, I know that for you all things will fall into place just as they did for me.
Dedicated to my favorite Sigma Kappa Love you Em ❤